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.Saturday, January 19, 2008 ' 7:39 PM
&ILOVEYOU


i was at my grandma's house a few days ago, came straight after work in my Nurses' Uniform. My grandma quickly made me eat and grandpa was asking me to drink milo . they were treating me like i just came home from War. haha..
Then this KEPO auntie of mine was there.. asking my mom when im going to be a Staff nurse and how old i m . then she whispered to my mom to get me married soon.

WHAT THE HACK !
and i heard my power mom reply ''can get the groom from the mama shop? ''
hahaahahah !
irritating ppl. like they think marriage is everything. cant they mind their own business. she told me that if i find for groom when im 21-23 i can get the handsome ''strong'' guys
if i find when i m 24 plus and im haggered i will get lousy guys .
HOW DARE SHE !
screw it la . i mean does she think im soooo waiting to get married ?
i have so much to look forward to , goals to meet places to see.

and i feel if i ever meet and marry a man who till the day i die can sincerely love me and can make me feel happy, im super lucky. coz if i live long .. it's a matter of40+ years !

what are the chances this guy's feelings are going to last 40 years ?
and that how he looks at me now and how he looks at me when im old wont change?

honestly im not lookin forward . im afraid of living with the WRONG guy . what if God decided to punish me for my sins here , and makes my marriage life a living hell.
what if that guy isnt what he seemed to be before marriage?
what if he is ultra possessive, he doesnt let me meet my family, doesnt let me meet up with my frens
he picks fights with me when i want some time alone
he verbally abuses me .. makes me feel lousy of myself, threatens me
beats me up
he doesnt let me work, or he controls my pay and decides what i should do with it
he hurts me everyday
makes me suspicious, depress
or, starts loving another girl behind my back
sleeps ard without my knowledge
keeps thinking im lookin at other guys
or if i look good or dresses up , he thinks im attracting guys
calls me a slut
he feels inferior, insecure and takes it out on me
he scolds my parents

what then ?
yes, divorce him.
even if i have kids

coz look !! im not some girl u can push ard . i WONT EVER tolerate such a man. once twice thrice, i might console myself
then i will leave and never look back. even if i have children , my children might not deserve a broken family , but they DEFINATELY dnt need succha dad !

yes. so auntie, do u think someone like me really need to marry?
no.
i have tons of girl cuzzins and 2 other sisters
i alwaes tot we can all buy a huge house and stay together, work and come home to each other, have gals nites together
yes we lack the manly fun , so what, when we can avoid the manly stress and MESS!

but as for now , i do have in mind the sort of guy i'v alwaes wanted in general :

#1 Someone that respects me ! (very important )
if he lures vulgarities at me , doesnt tink my decision is important to him and talks lowly of me , GET LOST !

#2 Someone that is educated ,mature, earns more than me
im not hardup for the money,but if he earns lower than me , im afraid he mite be insecure and take it on me . i dnt ever want fights bcoz of money

#3 can let me have time for myself, with my frens and family

#4 likes my family, my frens and vice versa

#5 i can engage in nice fun conversations with me

#6 accepts me for who i m , accepts my past

#7has a personality i can live with vice versa

#8someone like my dad

#9taller than me (hehe.. )

#10 someone that truly loves me .. that is genuine

AND MANY MORE.. haahah ..i dnt need a perfect person. but just dnt hurt me , cheat me .. or disrespect me or my family

coz from love to tolerance it will turn to hate.


i will always want to live with my current family.
i love them and enjoy their presence wayy to much..
and i dnt want marriage to change any of tt
ya,so marriage is something farr farr away(and i hope will never come )

coz its lame shit.
ya.
why even bother..









&Yours TrulyY
I work Wonders
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i cant live without food. food!
food!
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&WishesY
To be 60kilograms!
To have bike liscence
Own a Jeep/ Jaguar
To own a pet Bear
To run to a rainforest, lie on a lion's stomach and drink mango juice
To have beautiful skin forever
To marry someone i can really see myself living with and be happily blessed with
To have another baby sister
Try all the tastiest, weirdest, juciest delicacies in the world !
For Chocolates to have 0 calories.
To be a great singer
Travel to Morrocco, Egypt, Turkey, Madinah, Nepal
Never to have tubes inserted into my nose, ears, ANYWHERE ELSE!
to help everyone and anyone in need that crosses my path, as long as i am able to
To die a happy and peaceful death

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